


Awareness

by Birdbitch



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-02
Updated: 2013-12-02
Packaged: 2018-01-17 09:45:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1382905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Birdbitch/pseuds/Birdbitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a question as to how selfish they might be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Awareness

They do not have a lot of time, and they both know it. Therefore, everything is hurried. Jehan hates when they can’t lie in bed together, but the call from Enjolras might come at any moment. Besides that fact, Bahorel will want to go as soon as they’re done whether or not they’re called for because these kinds of things make the blood in his veins run hot and quick and if there’s one thing Bahorel is, it’s impatient.

So, it is this. Rutting against each other in a dirty, unused room, hoping that nobody turns the doorknob and tries to come in. It’s not particularly ideal—and Jehan’s afraid that this might be the last time anything of this sort ever happens, and he always hoped that it wouldn’t necessarily be like this—but it’s what they have. He pulls Bahorel into a rough kiss, feels stubble against his own skin and Bahorel’s panting, and he tries to smooth his hands over the other man’s hair, pushing it back and starting to kiss his cheeks instead.

“I’m afraid,” he says, softly, and Bahorel looks at him like he expects there to be something else. There is not. He licks his lips and the movement between them has stopped. “I am afraid,” he repeats, and he smiles, and Bahorel smiles back at him.

“Would you believe me if I said that I’m afraid, too?”

He nods his head. “Yes, I think. I would believe you. I don’t know if any of us are not. Maybe not of death, but—” his voice gets caught in his throat. There are things he wants to say, things about how afraid he is that this is going to lead up to nothing, that everything that they have done will have been in vain, how afraid he is of leaving his mother alone, how afraid he really is of this entire thing but how he must go through with it anyways. Bahorel seems to understand and he nods his head. Jehan looks at him and between them and down at his own feet. “Perhaps you should have spent this time with your mistress.”

“And worry her? No—no, it’s bad enough that I’m doing this to you. I left without saying a word. I think she will be better that way. I don’t want my last memory of her to be crying.”

“That is terribly cruel of you, Bahorel.”

“I’ll send Gavroche with a note.” They both know that it’s to save his own heart than that of his laughing mistress and yet Jehan doesn’t know if he can forgive that. Even if she does know, the fact that Bahorel could not tell her himself seems…somewhat cowardly. The three of them had spent a good amount of time together and Jehan quite liked her. “I don’t suspect she’ll be too surprised, though,” Bahorel continues, as if sensing what Jehan is feeling. “We have talked about it, you know. Death. Neither of us ever suspected that I would grow old.”

“That doesn’t seem like a very good excuse.”

“It isn’t,” he admits. “But we’ve talked about it. Better this than some brawl that gets out of hand.”

It does little to comfort Jehan, but he kisses Bahorel again anyways, as if that could make him feel any better. They finish and cling to each other in a desperate way and as they finish fixing their clothing, the doorknob turns.


End file.
